To: Arthur "Ace" ***** From: Mick
Sorry about this poor choice of Email title. It reminded me about your gift to me last night, and I figured I had to find something IT would not notice, at least not too soon. After they removed all the mails we sent each other over the years, I didn't want to risk having this last message lost before you could even read it.
Believe it or not, I'm typing this on Sheriff Jackson's computer. You can sense that he's a decent guy, and he probably feels bad about all this. He's just following orders. After you left this morning - thank you so much for keeping me company during my last night, I would have gone crazy in that little cell, all by myself - he unlocked my door and invited me over to his desk for breakfast.
He told me he had something to check two levels down and that it would only take fifteen minutes. Told me he knew I wouldn't try anything. Told me to enjoy my last meal. And he left, without switching off his computer. Before he closed his office door, I think he even winked. Needless to say, I jumped on the keyboard the second he had left.
That won't prevent me from being up there in two or three hours, cleaning the Silo's lenses. I hope you won't be watching this. I don't want you to see me die. All night I kept dreaming that I would fall dead just a few paces away from the lens, leaving a rotting carcass for everyone to see for centuries... Anyway, it won't prevent anything, but at least it goes to show that some people have actually kept a remnant of humanity down in the silo. I had come to believe we had all turned into ants or termites, crushed by constant fear, social pressure and censorship. I had come to fear that everyone was like Mrs Mercutio.
I met that old witch (you can switch the "w" for a "b" anytime, by the way) a few days ago, and she couldn't help it: she had to tell me, for the umpteenth time, that I was not living right, that I should have a wife and kids, and that if everyone was like me Life would stop in the silo. I told her that if everyone was like her, Love would stop in the silo. I don't know whether that helped anything, or even if she understood, but it did me a world of good. Now that I know I will never see her again, I'm glad I did it. And not seeing her ever again may be the only thing I'm glad about right now.
As your old man used to say, we all have a purpose in this silo, even if we don't know what that purpose is. You were my purpose. I couldn't have lived without you. You were my outside world and the promise of a better life. It was hard sometimes, to be judged, frowned upon and suspected, to be different from the others, to hide our love and live a clandestine relationship, but it was definitely worth it.
Now I know this is cliché, but I do want you to get on with your life. I don't want you to forget me, not ever, but I don't want you to be lonely and desperate. This is already what this place is too much about: lonely and desperate. We have a limited time here, so you'd better make the most of it no matter what.
I could go on for hours, but I can hear Jackson's heavy footsteps (he's being loud on purpose, so I'll know he's back, what a nice guy) on the stairs. Goodbye my love.
Mick
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